Friday, May 21, 2010

Arch Support

I'm at the foot doctor. One shoe on. One shoe off. Ready for a shot and some sound waves. Bring it!

There is an awkward medical assistant that keeps popping in to chat. He did this last time too. He's awkward. Like Trekkie awkward. It was mistake to forget to wear my wedding ring that day.

Today the ring is on.

Our last conversation involved figuring out how to use the shock wave machine as a weapon on the streets. The verdict: remove end and add a knife. Though Trekkie said knives weren't very fun. Mmmhmm.

They *think* I have plantar facisitis. Not an extreme case according to the doc. What he's really saying is: you're kind of a baby but we'll fix it.

I'm cool with that. It's a fact I already knew. Reason #256 why I don't have kids yet.

Doc says I still need shoes with arch support. I don't know what he means. I only speak flip flop and know a little wedge and flats.

Ps. I'm posting from my phone so who knows if this will work and even then I may read this when I get home and delete it on grounds of being lame.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

A Dream

Last night I dreamt that we were living back in Utah County. We were busy busy busy but extremely happy.

I don't remember where Fred worked but it was somewhere great that he was really happy and it allowed me to stay home with the kiddies (yep - there were children in this dream). I got to spend all the time I wanted with my family, especially my mom and sisters, and also with friends.

In this dream, I was the typical Utah County LDS mom - SUV, comfortable home, time for crafting and cooking, and lots of play dates. It was bliss.

Though we're pretty sure that UT County won't be where we settle down - maybe someday it could be.

The most shocking thing about this post: the fact that Utah County sounds good to me to live in forever. gasp. I must be homesick.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Phrase of the Day

Think: Would you rather slide down a razor blade or have you skin peeled with a potato peeler?

What was your reaction? Did your butt clench?

Or maybe when someone says something gross, or you see something nasty and traumatic on TV. serious butt clenching.

What did you just experience?
Butt Pucker
(v). the tensing of one's buttockal region as a reaction to a sight, sound, comment, touch, or smell.

Embrace the phrase and feel free to use it in your daily conversations. It may feel awkward at first but soon you'll have your friends, family, and even your department at work saying it.

**It is not recommended that you use this word in front of people who do not already know you. When trying to make new friends it will come out awkward and maybe a little disgusting. So refrain until you feel comfortable.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Confessions of a Mormon Girl

  • I want my nose pierced. really really bad. There I said it

  • I swear. some days more than I'd like to admit

  • I don't understand money. saving or budgeting

  • I can justify anything

  • I can also talk myself out of anything

  • I struggle with the thought of being a mom. I can only think of sacrifice, lack of sleep, debt, tantrums, poop, and saggy boobs. I'm also mortified/disgusted at the thought of breast feeding (not when others do it - just the idea of actually doing it - BUTT PUCKER). I don't know how women do it or how I'll be able to take that leap into motherhood

  • I think making new friends is worse than dating - more like finding new friends has replaced dating. Instead of playing hard to get with a boy - I find myself playing it with new friends. Yep. I know it's lame (and is obviously NOT working so maybe I should put out instead?)
  • I have 1 bra. yep only 1 - I'm disgusting I already know
  • Some days I want to pack our bags and run away
  • I'm a number brat - I will only buy clothes if they are my mentally accepted number size otherwise I won't buy anything (how ridiculous)
  • I miss Utah - the weather, the farmers markets, the mountains, our friends, family, quick trips, BBQs -but I don't miss Utah Mormons (disclaimer: not all Mormon's in Utah are this way)
  • I love Chai Tea
  • annoying Fred is one of my favorite hobbies (unfortunately I think his life goal is to bug the crap out of me)
  • I have to be playing with something in my hands almost always

Your turn - confess something!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Welcome to My Rut

I have about 5 or 6 blog posts started. not finished but started. I can't seem to finish them though. I'll think of something I find amusing/awkward/hilarious, begin to write about it, but then when I come back to it to finish - it isn't funny anymore. In fact it's a little embarrassing and not even slightly entertaining.

I somehow got wrapped up in making sure I was writing things people would like that I've lost track of just writing and letting it be what it would be. Funny or not. embarrassing or not. awkward or not. I need to find that brave version of me again. she's somewhere.

So feeling defeated I think 'psh maybe I'll take a break from blogging for while'.

but then it starts all over again.

So hopefully in the near future you'll see some posts on:
  • keeping the mystery alive in marriage (or failing at it)
  • the american dream
  • the worst wife ever
  • and other awkward titles

Monday, May 3, 2010


Friday morning was a day for cuss words, angry eyes, and frustration. My work computer has been giving me attitude for awhile but Thursday and Friday were the days when my lappy basically gave me the bird.

I spent 3 hours on Thursday trying to make her better with the help (a word used loosely) from my support team in Utah and then started Friday with hopes of having an incredibly productive day - making up for all lost time spent begging and pleading with my computer to behave.

But to no avail. She was ticked. I guess I didn't spend enough time telling her she was pretty and that she worked so well. I was instructed to overnite her back to Utah for the "professionals" to take a look (please bless it was NOT user error).

So here I am. Laying in bed, working on Fred's laptop. I have a really hard life. Could someone get me a drink and some breakfast? I'm really busy in here.