Thursday, September 30, 2010

Pointers for your pointers

In order to make a bra fitting uber awkward follow the fool-proof steps developed and tested by yours truly:
  1. eat taco soup for 2 days prior to your fitting
  2. Wear leggings. the ones that give you a muffin top
  3. when you get to the room, make a comment about not knowing what to do because it's only your 2nd time
  4. Opt to not wear your white "undershirt" so that there isn't any additional awkwardness
  5. make a comment about selecting the wrong pants to wear for a bra fitting
  6. when the girl helps you out of your bra (this will be awkward on it's own) try to not turn and face her while your completely topless
  7. when she assists in putting on the fitting bra that is mostly transparent - don't double check the location of your headlights - surprise peeks are totally acceptable
  8. tell management to leave the AC on - it's fine in a transparent bra
  9. when she's out pulling new bras, adjust your leggings. pulling them up to minimize your muffin top but giving you a front and back wedgie - it's hot
  10. also because the fitting bra is different than any bra you've ever worn keep poking and feeling yourself without realizing it - keep doing this after she's returned to the room
  11. after finding the bra you love, tell her to tell you how amazing your boobs look
  12. go to work and say to coworkers (only women) (and ones that recently had a boob job) "oh my gosh - look at my boobs! Don't they look amazing?"
And they do. What a difference a good bra and the right size makes!!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Last Day

Today is my last day at job #2. It's a little bittersweet. I don't feel like its my last day (plus I might go back during holiday) but then I think in terms of discount and then I begin to panic and think of all the things I "need" that really...I don't need but MUST have so I can have 20% off of them. (and really - 20% isn't that much when you think of it)

I really like working there and if I didn't already have a full-time job (and didn't like weekends and holidays to do as I pleased) then I would stay. Some of my favorite moments have included:

  • seeing a girl go from zero confidence to 100% confidence because of an outfit I picked out for her
  • being the neutral party when school shopping so moms and daughters still love each other at the end
  • having regular customers that hug me when they come in and wait until I'm available to shop

self: you don't need to stock up on things that you will need sometime down the road. Besides you don't have the money to go crazy and really - isn't that one of the reasons we're saying goodbye to this place? Though a new bra isn't negotiable. When the husband begins to publicly make fun of the 1 you's time.

I'm so excited to have nights and weekends to myself again. I finally feel settled and comfortable so that I will actually get out and do things with my friends instead of going crazy in my house like I was last Winter. I'm excited for book club, crafting, reading, girls trips, and working out again.

Bring on the tighter budget (for which I'm starting the Dave Ramsey class again) and the freedom!!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Lookie Here

I FINALLY got a copy of Mockingjay from the happiest place on earth (the public library).

I'm doing everything in my power to not read it until:
  1. I've finished my current read: The Great Gatsby
    which I felt like I had to read because it's one of the best books of all time - but honestly...I haven't finished it and I've had it for a week. That right there is a sign that I'm not loving it
  2. finish/start writing my talk for Sunday (yep. this girl got cornered and had no choice but to say yes)
  3. do laundry - because soon we'll be naked
No spoilers!!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

The Money Tree

Some day I'd like a money tree.

A tree unaffected by the seasons, drought, or lack of care.

I'd like a never ending supply of this tree's fruit.

Things I'd buy with my tree's fruit:

  1. another tree
  2. lots of plane tickets to lots of places
  3. a "manly" truck for freddie
  4. a house with a big kitchen for me
  5. jewelry to replace what Southwest lost
  6. clothes/shoes/make-up
  7. crafting supplies and
  8. an endless supply of drinks from sonic

I mean really - it's not like that's a lot or anything!

Where does one buy a tree like this?

Monday, September 20, 2010

Random Thoughts

Dear Fred-
I love you. I'm glad we celebrated our 3rd Anniversary last week. Sorry I didn't do a special post highlighting my love for you. Maybe if we would have posed in that thing at the restaurant I would have. Oh and speaking of that restaurant - let's not go back.

Dear Friday Night Lights-
hi. it hasn't been 12 hours since we last hung out, but I'm hoping to make it the day without you. I need to actually accomplish something substantial today. But seriously I love you and you've made me start talking with a Southern accent.

Dear Di-
I hate you for getting me addicted to FNL.

Dear family -
I loved seeing all of you this weekend. I hated the circumstances but loved the time spent together. It was too short of a trip and one that puts me back on the 'maybe we could move to Utah' bandwagon. But it wouldn't be Utah County so don't get too excited.

Dear Job #2-
Sorry I gave you my 2 weeks notice. It's just I really need to focus on my real job and since I have been paying you lately instead of getting paid by you...I think it's time to cut ties. I've loved you though and will miss all my co-workers and regular customers!

dear HS shoplifters-
I guess you're welcome for not catching you? I'm a little mad that you stole from me after I sat and talked with you girls for a long time. It wasn't my fault that you three were pros at it but know that I'm not happy and neither is your mom. Oh and nice try girl #3 on coming back with a new friend to try the same thing. tsk tsk - seriously.

Dear Arizona-
we all voted and we're ready for Fall. sound good? good.

Dear Sunny-
I've missed you. I loved our bike ride to the library (the happiest place in Chandler) the other day. I can't wait to ride you all the time since I'll actually have time to do it.

Dear running shoes-
um. well. I don't have any excuses except that I haven't had time to even put you on since uh, well, earlier this summer. That is changing and will be different starting in October...or November.

Dear Glee-
you and me. tonight. I. can't. wait. It will be magical, musical, and down right amazing I'm sure. I'm having a mini-celebration in your honor.

Dear Vitamix blender-
You're all I think about. After your demo the other day at Costco, I can't stop thinking about pressing your buttons to create culinary masterpieces. Ice Cream and Soup from one beautiful machine? oh, you! I think our union is essential to the health and happiness of my family.

Dear iphone-
we need to talk. You need to update yourself and unlock yourself because this girl just can't seem to find the gall to do it. So could you make it happen? Oh and this girl also doesn't know that gall means. unless speaking of the gal bladder - in which case she still doesn't know.

Dear crop dusters-
You seem to be everywhere. The security line at the airport, the cash register at job #2, and more frequently...the grocery store. Can't you be more careful about the location of the "drop"? Things to not do: "drop" and then in a rush of air put your clothing choices on the counter...bringing a little sample of your brand. and the security line is a given no-no. hold it until the terminal. thanks.

Dear Hoarders (the show)-
you make me gag and want to purge my house. Thank you for helping America.