Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Discussion Item

**Disclaimer: this post does not mean I am preggers. It is not meant to offend anyone - just to gain clarification. I want to hear your opinion so please share it!

Ever since I was about 12 I would pick my favorite boy and girl names for the kids I would someday have. I would then pair them with my current crush's last name to make sure they went together. I know I wasn't the only one who did this...admit it...you did too.

So now that I'm an adult (a term used loosely), I talk about baby names all the time - not for me but for my friends who are having babies. A topic we keep talking about is "calling a name".
What are your thoughts? Can you justify being mad about someone stealing you future baby's name?

Because these are mine:

I "know" the names I want to use but they aren't by any means mine. I don't think its fair to call a name - because really - does it matter?

Say I love the name...Madison (a name I will in fact be using someday), and one of my besties knows I love the name but then chooses to use it - I wouldn't be mad. Sure - it's my name and I would want people to know that I hadn't copied her - but really - as close as me and the friend may or may not be it isn't a big deal. Our kids won't have the same last name, go to the same schools, or be in the same ward most likely so why does it matter?
Sure when we get together it might be a little weird having two Madison's around but that's it.
Oh and don't worry because there are more than a million Madison's in the world so why does it matter?

I have a couple of friends that have gone through situations like this where someone starts a fight of the name of the unborn - in one case over the name she someday wanted to use as she was not preggers at the time of the fight.
And I just don't get it.

What's the big deal? What do you think?


thetaylors said...

I agree, but there is a family in our ward and they have a little girl named Addison who is a month younger than Addie. I'm okay with that. Their relatives did say a few things to us about how their family already was going to name their baby Addie. Like we care. Well, they just had their second baby and named her Isabelle. Why??? Will they have a Cooper next?

Chelsie and Trace said...

I think I would be bugged but not mad. But ya if your not pregnant at the time there really isn't anything you can do about it. I have a few name's that I like and I just don't tell people the name's so I don't have to worry about them getting taken. I'm weird I know.

Mary Ellen and Kevin said...

As long as they are not in the same family, I don't think it matters. There is another Ethan in our ward that is about 4 mos older than our Ethan... no big deal..besides, when it comes time to pick names because you ARE preggers, the names you picked when you were 12 may not even be used. That's what I'm finding out.
Ethan and Blayne are nowhere on my list.

Brandon and Amanda Brady said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brandon and Amanda Brady said...

REALLY SORE SUBJECT FOR ME!! About three months along my husband and I bought a baby name book. We liked several names, one of which was Brooklyn. We didn't even know what we were having.

As soon as my husbands cousins wife found out that we liked the name Brooklyn she sent me several mean texts saying, "um you're joking right? Brooklyn was my name, you knew I liked that name!" (I only remember us talking about baby names once and both of us saying we liked the name Brooklyn.) Her husband started sending me texts as well. I thought it was pretty ridiculous because they weren't prego and we didn't even know what we were having!! (I mean at least wait to freak out when you know we are having a girl!) So at our 20 week appointment instead of telling us boy or girl, they tell us our baby has a medical condition. One doctor said it kind of looks like a girl, but we will have to see if her intestines move so we can tell for sure! Shock right?! I mean the last thing you want is something wrong with your baby. (At this point I could have cared less what her name was going to be!) Well we decided to tell people we were having a girl rather than tell about her condition.

Within a few days I receive a phone call, it's the husbands cousins wife! She starts yelling at me, saying "I knew you'd have a girl!! That's my name!" Yes, pretty classless I know. I try to stay calm and explain its really not that big of a deal and that it is not the only name that we like! (Again I could have cared less about the name and was just worried about our baby making it here alive!)

It was eventually confirmed that we were having a girl. We figured we'd know her name when we saw her. We just wanted her to be named what we thought fit.

Well, we tossed around names for several hours at the hospital. The surgeon came in and asked what her name was. We said, "Well we are either thinking Kenzi Kay or maybe Brooklyn Paige." Our baby instantly opened her eyes for the first time! Doctor said "I think she's chosen her name, Brooklyn Paige." The name just stuck, we named her Brooklyn.(She had a month stay in the NICU, but is now a perfectly healthy 10 month old! And we couldn't love her more!)


The husbands cousins wife just put more pressure on the name Brooklyn. What I mean is, that now were we not going to use that name just because of her, or were we going to use that name just to spite her.

Why cause problems, people are going to name their babies what they want, so "the name claimers" just need to realize this and have a little class! It is not their kid!

Brandon and Amanda Brady said...

Sorry that was slightly long, but this exact situation caused a lot of drama for me that was completely unnecessary!

kate said...

umm.. i guess i'm a brat, but i'd be bugged/ more like pissed if a friend used a name that we'd had our eye on.

i guess i'm lame like that. :)

Delia said...

YES! Calling names is a big deal to me but just within close family. I still wince every time I think about telling my sister in law the girl name I was saving for a girl if we ever had one - Eloise (which was also Jared's Grandmother's name...it is so perfect - sigh). She named her baby Eloise soon after. She DID ask permission kind of but what was I going to say? No? Plus it isn't certain that we are going to have a girl so...

BUt...outside of immediate family I don't think it matters. Friends, even close cousins. Who cares really? It would be preferred if there weren't many duplicates but if the name means that much to you than it shouldn't matter.

Kira said...

A name is a name! I wouldn't care if my mom's best friend named her daughter Kira also...wait I don't know my mom's best friend so I don't even care at all! Seriously who is going to be mad and one day say, "Mom I can't believe your best friend (or cousin) stole my name!! How dare they!" Really come on people...your child will not care who has their name because a million people already have it!

Anonymous said...

I think a name is a name.My sister in law is really wierd about telling people what she's going to name her kids. I could really give a rats. If you wanted to name your little girl Josee, I would take it as a compliment! BUT, on Jen's point- if someone takes ALL your names....well, then that's just wierd and they need to get a life and an opinion of their own. My mom's friend Janine called her and asked her if she could name her baby McKell. She said "sure" and it has not been wierd at all! We see each other sometimes, and it's actually pretty cool that we have the same name. What-ev.

Kami said...

I like you probably won't get preggers for awhile, so the only thing that makes me nervous is all of our siblings snatching up all of the family names. I really like the idea of family names and at the rate me and Brett are going (absolute standstill) I am going to be using the name of my great-great-great-great-grandmother.

Although if my friend used that same name right now it probably wouldn't bother me.

Kellie said...

I must be weird, but I never picked out names when I was younger. I don't even have names picked out now that I am married. I don't think I would name my kid the same as one of my good friends babies names. There are plenty of cute names out there, but I guess if I had one in mind that I loved and you took it I may still name the kid that. I guess we will have to see what happens when we all start having babies.

Jared and Davian said...

I've never understood why this is a big deal to people. A person is an adult for a lot longer in life than a child, which usually means independance from parents/other social ties (aka: seeing your parents friends child who also has the same name as you) to some extent. I think you can "call names" all you want but can't be offended if someone else names their child that. I know siblings that each named a daughter Sara, (one is spelled with a h at the end of her name) and they are 4 years apart. Not a big deal! They live in different states and don't have the same last name. They are just cousins who love having the same name!
Really if you're worried about some one "stealing" your names then either don't share what they are or come up with a unique name on your own for your child.... but that's just my opinion! I've never met someone with my same name and hope my daughter has the same luck with her name!

Amanda said...

I think it is one of the dumbest things for someone to get mad over a name. You can't "call" a name, it's not yours to lay claim to. Even if my sister used a name that I loved, if I wanted to use it, I would. I really could care less. If someone is going to put up that big of a fight over a name, sadly, they have bigger problems.

DEBBIE said...

I feel the EXACT same way. I picked MANY MANY names out before I was EVER pregnant and my sister used one of them, my friend used one of them and INDEED my X husband used one of MY names. I never ended up using any of them. I think you are very mature in your thinking but than again you are very mature about EVERYTHING..

Miss you Chana!!!

Amanda said...

Whatever! Tell the truth...who stole your baby name????

Tyler and Ashley Mortensen said...

Um im totally on your team chan... I dont care.. if its a name I like then I will use it!! The main exception is family... like my sister! Or really close friends but I think if you like the name go with it! you have to live with the name you choose! I love how heated this topic can get :)

Unknown said...

Thanks for the great feedback everyone! I'm so glad I understand this topic a little more and know that I'm not alone!