- eat taco soup for 2 days prior to your fitting
- Wear leggings. the ones that give you a muffin top
- when you get to the room, make a comment about not knowing what to do because it's only your 2nd time
- Opt to not wear your white "undershirt" so that there isn't any additional awkwardness
- make a comment about selecting the wrong pants to wear for a bra fitting
- when the girl helps you out of your bra (this will be awkward on it's own) try to not turn and face her while your completely topless
- when she assists in putting on the fitting bra that is mostly transparent - don't double check the location of your headlights - surprise peeks are totally acceptable
- tell management to leave the AC on - it's fine in a transparent bra
- when she's out pulling new bras, adjust your leggings. pulling them up to minimize your muffin top but giving you a front and back wedgie - it's hot
- also because the fitting bra is different than any bra you've ever worn keep poking and feeling yourself without realizing it - keep doing this after she's returned to the room
- after finding the bra you love, tell her to tell you how amazing your boobs look
- go to work and say to coworkers (only women) (and ones that recently had a boob job) "oh my gosh - look at my boobs! Don't they look amazing?"
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
I really like working there and if I didn't already have a full-time job (and didn't like weekends and holidays to do as I pleased) then I would stay. Some of my favorite moments have included:
- seeing a girl go from zero confidence to 100% confidence because of an outfit I picked out for her
- being the neutral party when school shopping so moms and daughters still love each other at the end
- having regular customers that hug me when they come in and wait until I'm available to shop
self: you don't need to stock up on things that you will need sometime down the road. Besides you don't have the money to go crazy and really - isn't that one of the reasons we're saying goodbye to this place? Though a new bra isn't negotiable. When the husband begins to publicly make fun of the 1 you have...it's time.
I'm so excited to have nights and weekends to myself again. I finally feel settled and comfortable so that I will actually get out and do things with my friends instead of going crazy in my house like I was last Winter. I'm excited for book club, crafting, reading, girls trips, and working out again.
Friday, September 24, 2010
I'm doing everything in my power to not read it until:
- I've finished my current read: The Great Gatsby
which I felt like I had to read because it's one of the best books of all time - but honestly...I haven't finished it and I've had it for a week. That right there is a sign that I'm not loving it
- finish/start writing my talk for Sunday (yep. this girl got cornered and had no choice but to say yes)
- do laundry - because soon we'll be naked
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Some day I'd like a money tree.
A tree unaffected by the seasons, drought, or lack of care.
I'd like a never ending supply of this tree's fruit.
Things I'd buy with my tree's fruit:
- another tree
- lots of plane tickets to lots of places
- a "manly" truck for freddie
- a house with a big kitchen for me
- jewelry to replace what Southwest lost
- crafting supplies and
- an endless supply of drinks from sonic
I mean really - it's not like that's a lot or anything!
Where does one buy a tree like this?
Monday, September 20, 2010
Dear Vitamix blender-
Dear crop dusters-
Dear Hoarders (the show)-