This is good enough for its own post. You'll see.
I took the 4:30am shuttle which got me to the airport by 6:30am just in time to wait 4 hours before my flight left. I hung out with Kimmie until she boarded then went to find an outlet to watch some netflix and wait to board.
So I board the flight - which literally was about 95% LDS. No joke. How'd I know? Well, because I'm LDS too so I can tell a little…and the fact that they were the kind of Mormons that find the need to wear BYU shirts, and hats (yes there is a type that does this. I am NOT one of them) kind of gave it away as well. So I'm sitting a seat away from a woman reading a Joseph Smith book and across the aisle from BYU's biggest fan club's family reunion. Thinking this might actually be an okay flight…I get interrupted by guy coming to sit between me and the reader.
'oh well' I think and then I'm overcome by a scent so powerful it's like being on day 4 of a Cataract Canyon trip. I almost started dry heaving. 'Crap. He doesn't shower' was my next thought.
So Smelly falls asleep and the scent lessens a bit - until he stirs and needs to stretch which makes me turn my head and gag. No joke.
About an hour into the flight, Smelly is not only stretching every 20 or so minutes but is also so relaxed that other things are creating a silent-but-deadly scent on our row. My eyes are watering. My head is completely turned toward the BYU folk trying to breathe clean air and find a remedy for my gagging.
The farting and stretching lasted the entire 4 hour flight. By the time we landed and people were getting out of their seats I was about to scream 'Get me off this DANG plane!' with a word change right in the middle. It was hot…the farts were cooking…and he was STILL stretching!
It took all I had not to run off that plane screaming and puking.