Thursday, April 8, 2010

Dear:

Dear Mazzy (my old Mazda):
We shouldn't have sold you which ultimately led to your death. You were the better car. I'm so sorry I'd do anything to have you back at this point.


Dear Larry (the Alero):
You're a Biotch. No wonder they stopped making you. I'd like to prop a brick against your gas pedal and steer you off a cliff.
Please stop breaking - we just need to pass emissions so we can register you.
But would like to do that without paying over a grand to fix your sorry self.
I think I'd rather sell you and buy a scooter.


Dear blisters:
I'm over you. stop coming back.


Dear foot doc:
seriously you want to put me in a walking cast for 2-4 weeks? argh. this sounds horrible not to mention completely ugly.


Dear Sleep Number Bed:
while at first we hated you - we actually love you now. Thanks for helping Fred sleep through the night for the first time in years. You may be worth our first born after all.


Dear Glee:
I am anxiously awaiting your return next week.
I can't wait to bask in your awkwardness.

Dear little sis:
please hurry home. I miss your face - though I don't miss you purposefully sneezing on my arm all the time. It's gross. NOT funny. Sydney and I have a re-beautification day planned for you which will include waxing, plucking, and defrumpifying. Also, I know it's your goal to come home as awkward as possible BUT feel free to fail. See you soon.

Dear Last Song:
thanks for not letting me down entirely. Good thing you had Liam - because he's tasty. But I wish Miley didn't hold her mouth all awkwardly the whole time. Or that she didn't talk like she had a retainer in her mouth. Oh and I wish you wouldn't have left out some of the good parts from the book. Overall - thanks for having Liam. He saved you.

Dear Fred:
I love you like a lot a lot.
Good thing too because you're expensive and smelly.

Dear Besties:
I miss you girls. Please come visit.

Dear Mom:
will you make ham and yummy potatoes while I'm home in June?
Please please please??
I'd make them but you know they wouldn't turn out the same.

Love-Chana

5 comments:

Jarrett and Sydni said...

Dear Chana, I Love reading your blog, you are so creative and funny. Please never stop or hold back because you are hilarious!!

communikate. said...

Dear Chana.

Lets hang out ASAP.

From another Miley hater in AZ-

Kate

Kami said...

Dear Chana,
I too HATE my Alero. So much so that I am trying to sell it because I absolutely refuse to go through trying to get it to pass again.
P.S. I totally agree with Sydni.

Laura W said...

Idea, you can always transfer the title back over to us and we can tag it in Arkansas again. Just a thought.

tayclan33 said...

Sorry about Mazzy... it led a good life up to the very end... I too wish it was still around.